Sunday, February 11, 2007

A Mash-Up At A Japanese Wedding

English below...

レディオヘッドのファンの皆様・・・ださい駄じゃれすみませんが昨日は○○小学校の同僚の結婚式・披露宴に出席したから一日中その見出しについて考えました。許してね。 orz

とにかく、風邪は少し良くなったから昨日「花ちゃん先生(♂)」の結婚式に出席した。自分の結婚式を含めて・・・5,6回目(かな?)の日本の結婚式だから以下は期待通りだった:

1) 高かった(12,000円)。もちろん本州に比べてこれは激安いけど北海道の披露宴にとって結構高い。そしてアメリカの結婚式・披露宴は殆ど無料だから信じられないほどたかい。 ⇒ 向こうは、殆ど場合、新婦の両親は教会や式場費と披露宴費を支払ってくれる。披露宴の客さんはあくまでも会費を支払わないから1回目日本の披露宴に出席した時にかなりショックだった。

2) 男性の客さんの中に、半分くらいは白い靴下を履いていた・・・黒いスーツを着ていたのに。この中に半分くらいはおじさん達だったが20・30代の人も沢山いた。「ファッションの警察」になりたくないけどこれはすごく格好悪くない? 日本人の男たち・・・頼むよ。白いスーツ以外、黒い靴下お願いします。

3) 新婦と新郎は1回着替えした。他の披露宴に比べて少ないけど(今までの記録は4回)何でそんなに着替えなくちゃ? やっぱり時々日本はさっぱり分からない。

4) 「お祝いの言葉」のスピーチは多くて、長くて、殆ど誰も聞いてくれなかった。ありがたいことに教頭先生のスピーチは比較的に短かった。

しかし、その四つの点以外、ちょっとびっくりしたところもいっぱいありました。


まずは、実際の結婚式はすごく綺麗でした。式場の「教会」だから本当の礼拝堂かどうか分からないけどとにかく、懐かしくて、心地いい空間でした。ちゃんと教会の座席もあったし、結婚行進曲が始まったら本物協会のオルガンとフルートで演奏した。祭壇の上に美しいステンドガラスの窓もありました。各座席の前に聖書と賛美歌集でけがなかった。それ以外、完全「洋風教会」の雰囲気だった。

夫婦の退場の後にバラの花びらフラワーシャワーがありました(アメリカの場合「ライスシャワー」だけど日本ではこれは有り得ないかな?)。バラだったから結構いい香りだったが付随する音楽はジョン・レノンの「The Ballad of John & Yoko」だったからちょっと・・・変な感じだた。もちろん「結婚関係」の曲だけど教会内に「They're gonna crucify me!(
彼らは俺を十字架に張り付けるでしょう)」の歌詞は駄目な気がする。まあ・・・歌詞の意味は僕しか分からなかったはずだからいいんじゃない。

その後、同じ施設で披露宴が始まった。会場の高い
吹き抜けの天井で、完全「ヨーロッパの古いビルの地下高級レストラン」の感じだった。レンガとマホガニーのナイス・コンビネーションで本当に格好いい建築術の所でした。

新婦・新郎の挨拶とお祝いの言葉とケーキカットが終わったら、次は祝宴だった。びっくりした!今までの殆どの披露宴食事は同じ「ホテル宴会食事」だったが今回大分違いました。

だって、フルコースの「テゥレビエンフランス料理」ヤン!

何回も「高かった!」について不平を言っちゃったが祝宴のメニューは高級フランス料理のレストランとそんなに変わらないほど美味しかった。ほら・・・メニュー見てみて・・・

Amuse-Bouche (最初のお口直し)
パイで蓋をした日高産真つぶと茸のフリカッセ

Hors d'oeuvre (オードブル)
スズキのカルパッチョ・キャビア添え

Soupe (スープ)
小野菜入り鯛のコンソメスープ

Poisson (お魚)
天草産真鯛のポアレ・イベリコ豚のチョリソー・ソースブールルージュ

Granite (中間のお口直し)
オレンジとクランベリーのグラニテ

Viande (お肉)
留寿都産もち豚ヒレ肉のポアレ・リンゴの香り

Dessert (デザート)
びっくりなめらかチョコレート・イチゴのスープとバニラアイス・ウェディングケーキ

Pain et Cafe
自家製パンとコーヒー

すごくない?そして「シンジラレナイ」くらい美味しかった・・・特にイベリコ豚と「びっくりなめらかチョコレート」。

銀食器もいっぱい並べた。同じテーブルの先生達は最初の方ちょっとパニック状態でしたが殆どの皆は上手に使える様になったし、分からなかった時にちゃんと接客係に「次はどっちを使う?」と尋ねた。K先生(一緒に野球少年団を指導する先生)だけギブアップをして、デザート以外割り箸を使っちゃいながら「白いご飯とおかずを食べたい」と何回も不平を言った。

エンターテインメントも楽しかった。新婦さんは中学校の音楽の先生だから本人は「Ave Maria」のソロ演奏したし、彼女の友達もピアノとピアニカの演奏もしました。

新郎の友達も(と言うことで○○小の私たち)「アトラクション」をやりましたが確かにもうちょっと低いレベルでした。○○小の一人外国人として、僕はもちろん「英語番」でしたから司会の役をして、英語で他の先生達の「ウォター・ボイズ・ショー」を紹介した。後で、ウォター・ボイズ達が踊りながら、The Plattersの「Only You (and You Alone)」を歌いました。曲がちょっと間違えましたが英語だったから誰も分からなかったので問題なかった。ちこっと恥ずかしかったが楽しかったし、お客さんと新婦・新郎が笑っちゃったから良かったと思う。

結婚式をはじめ、6時間くらいをかかりましたからかなり長かったけど(この日記みたいね)、全面的に楽しい日曜日だした。

家に帰った時に、奥さんに僕の風邪うつっちゃったみたい。僕もまだ風邪ひいているけど、僕の方が元気だから、僕が看病する番だ。いつも奥さんに世話になっているから、ちょっとでも逆に僕が世話してあげられたら嬉しい。:)

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Apologies for the pun to all you Radiohead fans, but I went to a wedding yesterday and've had that title running around in my head all day. ;)

In anycase, my cold finally started to get better on Saturday night, so I was able to go to Mr. H's wedding yesterday afternoon. Including my own, this was what...like the 5th or 6th wedding I've been to in Japan, and as usual, the following went just as I expected it to:

1) At 12,000 yen (about US $100), expensive. For those of you outside Japan, it's slightly different on this side of the pond in that as a guest to somebody's wedding reception, you're expected to pay and help the happy couple cover the costs of the gig. While this is still ridiculously cheap compared to down in Honshu or the rest of Japan where you're looking at a minimum of 30,000 yen (for acquaintances, that is...expected amounts go up the closer you are to the couple) to get in the door, it's a little pricey for Hokkaido - where it's normally a set price between 6,000 and 10,000 for everybody. Well, that and there's the whole "I'm not used to having to pay to go to a wedding" thing.

2) Half the men there were wearing white socks with their dark suits. Of this group, probably about half were in their 50's or above and probably don't give a shit anyway, but that still leaves like 25% of the guys in their 20's & 30's! I don't wanna be Mr. Fashion Police, but WTF is wrong with these people? Do they not realize how bad this looks? Yes, Japanese fashion does boggle the mind at times.

3) During the reception, the bride & groom changed clothes once. When they first came in they were in the same get up as the ceremony, then midway came in some sort of Rhet Butler-Scarlett O'Hara Gone With The Wind tribute get-up. Compared to some of the other weddings I've been to here, they were relatively conservative w/the clothes changing. The record goes to one couple from a few years ago who might as well've just called their reception a fashion show as they changed clothes four different times - tux & wedding dress, then a southern cotillion number, then hakama & kimono, then another Gone With The Wind getup, then something else. Just one question...why? Is this a Japanese thing or just a woman thing? In anycase, I feel sorry for the guys, as it was bad enough at my own wedding trying to put on, then take off a hakama then get into a suit. Oi vey...

4) Too many overly long speeches by way too many people congratulating the happy couple while being listened to by hardly anybody. I realize that this is a part of Japanese culture, especially for old men to get up and have everybody listen to how important what they have to say is, but for God's sake, get to the point & make it short & sweet, people! The bride & groom would like to eventually leave and start their new lives ya know. At least the Vice Principal kept his toast relatively short.

However, other than these 4 points, I was rather pleasantly surprised at a few things this time around.

First off, even though everything was held in a place purposely built so couples can have a "western-style" wedding with all the bells and whistles, including a totally fabricated church and pastor who's no doubt not even Christian (hey, it's Japan...I guess it's not really supposed to make sense to foreign barbarians like me), the chapel where they had the actual ceremony was really nice. They had actual church pews (been a while since I've sat in one o' those) and a gorgeous stained glass window above the altar, and they played the wedding march on a full-on actual church organ with an accompanying flutist dressed in altar robes. Pretty much the only thing missing to let you in on the fact that you weren't in a real church was the lack of a bible and hymnal in front of every pew seat.

After the ceremony, there was a rose petal flower shower for the bride & groom (no rice showers here...at 40 bucks for 10kg bag, the shit's too expensive) which just smelled absolutely amazing, but the only drawback was the music accompanying it..."The Ballad of John & Yoko". Sure I guess you could technically call it a wedding song, and maybe it's just me, but there seems something seriously wrong about hearing, "They're gonna crucify me!" over & over in the chorus inside a supposed "church". Oh well, I'm probably the only one there who could actually understand the song anyway, so no harm, no foul, I guess.

Following this was the big reception just down the hall in the same building. Really cool room with high vaulted ceilings and brick & mahogany architecture that made it feel like some sorta posh restaurant in the basement of an old European building.

Once the bride & groom said their thank you's to everybody for coming, everyone and their dog had wished the happy couple well and the cake was cut, the servers swarmed the tables and dinner was served.

Oh boy, was it served...and not just any old left over dried up roast beef slapped on a plate either. This was a full-on 7 course French spread baby, consisting of, according to the fancy little menu provided:

Amuse-Bouche (preliminary palette freshener)
Fricasseed mushrooms in puff pastry

Hors d'oeurve
Sea perch carpaccio with caviar

Soupe
Sea bream & vegetable consomme

Poisson (fish course)
Red sea bream with pailette (cheese straw made from puff pastry & Parmesan), Iberian
pork sausage and sauce pour rouge (not sure what it was, but tasty, nonetheless)

Granite (secondary palette freshener)
Orange & cranberry sherbet

Viande (meat course)
Pork loin medallions with Parmesan, sauteed snow peas and rough mashed potatoes with
essence of apple.

Dessert
Chocolate fudge soufflé with vanilla ice cream and strawberry sauce, wedding cake

Pain et Cafe
Homemade bread and coffee

Ahh...it's a tough existence I lead. *grin* Jealous yet? I know M sure was when I got home and told her. ;)

There was a full spread of silverware laid out as well, and while the guys at my table sorta panicked at first, they did really well, even asking the staff which fork or spoon to use next when they didn't know. Only Mr. K (the guy I coach little league baseball with) pretty much gave up and used his chopsticks for everything other than desert while moaning about how he'd rather be eating rice & something more Japanese.

In anycase, I know up until this point I've bitched and moaned about how expensive Japanese weddings are, but this was honestly the first time I've felt it was almost worth it. Hell, you'd probably pay a lot more than 12,000 yen for a meal like this in nice French restaurant so I guess I can't complain that much.

The entertainment wasn't that shabby either. The New Mrs. H is a junior high school music teacher and graced all of us with a solo performance of "Ave Maria" and a few of her friends put together a little ensemble on piano and a few melodicas.

The groom's friends (namely those of us from ○○ Elementary) also had an act, but ours was decidedly a bit more low brow...

As the only foreigner at work, I of course had to do something in English, so I came out to the Blues Brothers' theme and acted as the MC, working up the crowd. On my mark, I introduced the other teachers, who bust in to the room wearing nothing but skin tight swim trunks, goggles and swim caps, and proceeded to do a synchronized swimming routine reminiscent of Water Boys. Sometime after this, I sang "Only You" by The Platters to the happy couple in the most god-awful cheeziest voice I could conjure up while the other teachers did their synchronized swimming routine. I actually messed up the lyrics a bit, but nobody in the room other than me understood English so no biggie, I guess.

At nearly 6 hours from start to finish, including the ceremony and reception, it was defo a long day, but overall, one of the best weddings I've been to in a while and certainly not a bad way to spend an otherwise cold Sunday afternoon.

The only sorta downer of the day was when I got home and it turned out that M had uncharacteristically picked up my cold (she almost never gets sick when I do). Even though we're both sick now, seeing as how I'm feeling slightly better, looks like it's my turn to play nurse for a bit. Not like I mind though...she always takes good care of me, so it's nice to return the favor every now & then.

Ah, the ups & downs o' marriage, eh?

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3 comments:

  1. 家に帰った時に、奥さんが僕の風邪をひいちゃったことが分かった。風邪はまだあるけど僕の方が元気だからこれから「看護婦さん」の役は僕の番だ。しかも奥さんはいつも僕のことをお世話になるから逆にできたら嬉しい。
    僭越ですが・・・・
    奥さんに僕の風邪うつっちゃったみたい。僕もまだ風邪ひいているけど、僕の方が元気だから、僕が看病する番だ。いつも奥さんに世話になっているから、逆に僕が世話してあげられたら嬉しい。(ほんとう?)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymousさんへ、

    全然僭越じゃないです。ちゃんと日本語を教えてくれて本当にありがとうございます!Anonymousさんのお蔭様で、もう校正しました。

    どうも!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Did they seriously have the Ballad of John and Yoko playing in the chapel or was that a slight embellishment for the sake of your blog?
    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete