Thursday, February 15, 2007

Screw White Day...I wanna celebrate Steak & A Blowjob Day

To kinda follow up on yesterday's all Japanese post, some post-Valentine's love for my English-readin' peeps.

As some of you may or may not know, Valentine's Day is a wee bit different here in Happy Land. Instead of the consumer orgy of roses, chocolates, diamonds & customized candy hearts that say "PLSE SWLW" that men are obligated to indulge in to placate their sweethearts, it's kind of the opposite in Japan.

On this side o' the pond, women tend to make elaborate, handmade chocolates and give them to their favorite guys. For example, yesterday M made me a big ol' strawberry chocolate heart, rocky road, white chocolate w/ coconut and another strawberry job w/ cranberries in it, and I got some other homemade goodies from some of the kids @ school who, I guess, like me enough to have gone out of their way to made me some stuff.

This whole chocolate giving thing is also a way for women to out of the blue tell a guy that they like them, as in, "Here's a 5kg chocolate heart I made for you...wanna date me?"

On the other hand is something called "giri-choco" or "obligation chocolate". This tends to be the crappier, store bought chocolate that women are pretty much expected to give to all the guys they work with, no matter how smelly or slimy, in order to maintain a sense of "harmony" in the workplace. Um...sure, whatever.

The dark side of this celebratory sugar fueled love fest though is a purely Japanese (and copied by the Koreans & Taiwanese, supposedly) invention that falls exactly one month later on March 14th called "White Day". White Day was pulled out of the collective ass of the Japanese candy industry back in the 60's as a way for Japanese men to repay the kindness of women who'd given them chocolates on Valentine's Day.

That's all well & good and only fair, I guess, but according to Wiki, while men originally gave marshmallows to their female suitors, over time this tradition has turned into yet another chocolate & jewelry buying frenzy.

"Huh? You gave me a crappy piece of bargain bin chocolate a month ago, so I'm now supposed to provide you w/ diamond studded earings?"

Clever little devils, those women & their demon candy-jewelry-flower industrial complex marketing henchmen.

Anyhoo, I was checking out The Hot Librarian this morning, and via a link in her comments section, found the perfect solution to the problems of both Japanese & American men everywhere. Ladies & gentlemen, I proudly present to you... (drum roll, please)

Steak and a Blowjob Day

According to the official website:

"March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. That's it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th. It's like a perpetual love machine!"

- Tom Birdsey (founder of Steak and Blowjob Day)
Ok, true, Japanese guys don't have it nearly as bad as their American counterparts, but work with me here. Hell, maybe they could even arrange an equivalent "Champagne Dinner & Hummer For The Girls Day" for all those poor forgotten Japanese women.

In anycase, you read it here first. March 14th...Steak & A Blowjob Day. Click on the link for more info. You know you'll be glad you did!

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